Almost every couple who writes to us has already decided on Italy. What they haven't decided is where to get married in Italy, exactly. And it's a bigger choice than it looks, because a wedding on a lake, in the countryside, in a city or by the sea are four very different weekends, for you and for your guests.

I've photographed weddings in all of these places, so here's the comparison I'd give a friend. No region is better than the others. The right one depends on what you picture when you close your eyes, and on some boring practical questions that matter more than people expect.

Start with three questions

• How many guests? Thirty people can fit almost anywhere. Two hundred narrows the list quickly, especially on the Amalfi Coast.
• How will they travel? Rome and Milan have big international airports. The Amalfi Coast and parts of Tuscany add a long transfer.
• What does the day look like? A boat and a villa, a long dinner under the olive trees, a palazzo in the city, a terrace above the sea. Be honest about the picture in your head.

Lake Como: villas, boats and old-world glamour

Lake Como is for couples who want elegance with a capital E. Historic villas on the water, gardens designed to be seen from a boat, grand hotels that have hosted weddings for more than a century. It's about an hour from Milan's airports, which makes it easy for international guests. The trade-off is that the most famous villas book up early and the roads along the shore are narrow. We wrote more about it in what a destination wedding weekend on Lake Como feels like.

Tuscany: the long weekend in the countryside

Tuscany is the region for couples who want their guests to stay together for three days and never want to leave. Castles, borghi and estates that you can book in their entirety, long tables in the gardens, wine from the hill you're standing on. It works beautifully for big groups, and it's the most relaxed of the four. Florence is the natural base for guests who want a bit of city too. See our pages on Florence and Siena and Chianti.

Rome: a wedding in the Eternal City

Rome is for couples who want history all around them and a city that is alive late into the night. Villas on the hills with St. Peter's on the horizon, palazzi in the center, rooftops at sunset. Guests can fly in directly, sleep in great hotels and walk to dinner. If you want a castle without leaving Rome behind, Castello Odescalchi in Bracciano is less than an hour away. Have a look at our weddings in Rome and Roxana & Kyle's wedding at the castle.

The Amalfi Coast: a terrace above the sea

The Amalfi Coast is pure drama. Villas hanging from the cliffs, the sea everywhere you look, lemon terraces and little churches. It's perfect for smaller and medium-sized weddings, and for couples who don't mind a bit of logistics: the nearest airport is Naples, the coastal road is slow in summer and some venues can only be reached on foot or by boat. When it works, nothing else looks like it. More on our Amalfi Coast page.

And beyond

Italy doesn't end with these four. The hills of the Veneto hide some extraordinary villas, like the one in Asolo where we filmed Konstantine & Delie's wedding, later featured in Vogue España. Puglia and Sicily have their own light and their own food. And sometimes the right answer is just across the border: we also filmed a wedding at the Hôtel Martinez in Cannes.

Where to get married in Italy: the short version

• Lake Como if you dream of villas, boats and classic glamour.
• Tuscany if you want a relaxed weekend with everyone under the same roof.
• Rome if you want history, great hotels and a city that never sleeps.
• The Amalfi Coast if you want the sea and you're happy with a smaller guest list.

Still undecided? Write to us with a few lines about what you have in mind. We're happy to tell you honestly where we think your wedding would look and feel its best.