We've had the joy of filming Dan and Christian's wedding at Villa Pizzo on Lake Como, and it was one of the most elegant celebrations we've seen. A same-sex wedding in Italy is as beautiful as any other: the same villas, the same light, the same long dinners. There's one legal detail to understand first, and a few choices that are entirely yours, from who walks down the aisle to how the ceremony is written. Here's how to plan it.

The legal side

Italy has recognized same-sex civil unions since 2016, but not marriage, and the rules for two foreign partners forming a civil union here are complex, with no guarantee it will be recognized as a marriage at home. Most international couples therefore marry legally at home, before or after the trip, and celebrate with a symbolic ceremony in Italy. It's simpler, and the ceremony can be anything you want. Read more about the paperwork for foreign couples.

A symbolic ceremony

Without the legal rules, you're free to choose the place, the words and who leads it: a friend, a professional celebrant, a family member. You can hold it in a villa garden, on a terrace above the sea, in a vineyard or on a boat, at the hour of the best light. Many couples find it more personal than any legal ceremony, and guests never know the difference.

Choosing vendors

Most luxury venues and vendors in Italy welcome every couple, and Italian society has become far more open in recent years. Still, ask openly from the first email. The right planner, photographer and venue will answer warmly, use your names rather than "bride and groom" in contracts and timelines, and make you feel at home from the start. If anyone hesitates, you've learned what you needed to know.

The processional

• Walk down the aisle together, hand in hand.
• Each walk with a parent, from two sides, meeting in the middle.
• One after the other, to two different pieces of music.
• Skip the aisle, and gather your guests around you instead.

Style

Two suits, two dresses, or anything in between. Many couples coordinate rather than match: two shades of blue, a black tuxedo and a white dinner jacket, the same fabric in different cuts. Decide whether to get ready together or apart, and whether you'd like a first look; both create beautiful photographs.

Where to celebrate

• Lake Como, for villas, gardens and boats, like Dan and Christian at Villa Pizzo.
• Tuscany, for estates where the whole group can stay together, like Nicolas and Joshua at Villa Grabau near Lucca, whose wedding we filmed and which was featured in The Anti Bride.
• Rome and Florence, for the city and its palazzi.
• The Amalfi Coast, for terraces above the sea.

Questions couples ask us

Can we have a church wedding in Italy?

The Catholic Church doesn't celebrate same-sex weddings, but a symbolic ceremony can take place almost anywhere else, including historic villas, gardens and some deconsecrated chapels used as event spaces.

Is Italy welcoming for same-sex couples and guests?

In the places where destination weddings happen, overwhelmingly yes. Luxury hotels and venues host same-sex weddings regularly.

See Dan and Christian's wedding at Villa Pizzo and our Villa Pizzo wedding guide, or read about eloping in Italy for something more intimate.